Applegate - A Hangover Breakfast Story

It was a fateful Friday morning, I chose to throw a sickie—thanks to a rather indulgent Thursday evening at a dinner party where our host proudly paraded his wine collection.

Naturally, we felt obliged to sample a bottle or five.

My partner, despite having a crucial meeting, was persuaded (by yours truly) to partake in the festivities beyond her usual measures. So when I announced my decision to skip work the next day, she was less than thrilled, in fact she was fucking livid, especially since she was nursing a burgeoning hangover, courtesy of my encouragement.

As the sun rose and her initial irritation faded, my partner, ever so gracious, decided to bring me breakfast in bed.

There I was, half-asleep, when her voice cut through my slumber, "Here we are dear, I've brought you some breakfast."

My mind, seduced by dreams of a succulent, greasy bacon sandwich, dripping in HP sauce, snapped awake.

Yet, as I turned my hopeful gaze to the bedside table, my expectations shattered. There sat a solitary, uninspiring green apple.

"What's that?" I asked, bafflement colouring my tone.

"It's an apple," she replied with a sweet smile.

"An apple?" I echoed, incredulity mounting. "You've brought me an apple for breakfast?"

Her affection quickly morphed into fury. "You ungrateful prick!" she exclaimed before storming out.

Lying there, I pondered the curious choice of a hangover breakfast.

An apple, really? Who the f@&k brings their hung over partner an apple for breakfast.

The saga swiftly became legendary among my friends, humorously dubbed 'Applegate.'

That night, as we gathered again, the tale elicited roars of laughter and disbelief from the group. Even the partners chimed in, albeit less amused, with retorts like "Get your own F&%king breakfast next time!"

Despite the hilarity, our conversation took a turn towards the genuinely informative, discussing the best breakfast remedies for hangovers.

Here’s what we listed:

1. Hydration Heroes - Alcohol dehydrates your body, so replenishing fluids is key. Coconut water, with its high electrolyte content, can be more effective than water alone.

2. Eggs-cellent Choice - Eggs are rich in cysteine, an amino acid that helps break down the hangover-causing toxin acetaldehyde in the liver. A hearty omelette or scrambled eggs can do wonders.

3. Banana Boost - Bananas are packed with potassium, which helps replenish vital minerals depleted by alcohol consumption. They can restore some of the body's normal function and ease muscle cramps.

4. Avocado Toast - Avocados are another great source of potassium and healthy fats. Pairing them with whole grain toast adds fibre and B vitamins, aiding metabolism and energy recovery.

5. Oats - A bowl of oatmeal is excellent for restoring nutrients and providing a gentle, low-fat way to line the stomach. Adding honey can boost your blood sugar, a must when you're feeling the effects of a sugar crash post-alcohol.

6. Ginger Tea - Known for its nausea-reducing properties, ginger tea can soothe your stomach and kick-start your recovery.

7. A fry up - Yes its a hiding to a heart attack but it does boost blood sugar and lets be honest makes you happy as Larry when you stuff it down your face.

8. An apple - Let’s not go there.

We know hangovers result from a combination of dehydration, depletion of vitamins, and the toxic effects of alcohol breakdown products, primarily acetaldehyde. The symptoms—headache, nausea, and dizziness—are your body's way of telling you it’s overworked and undernourished cause you've been a naughty baughty.

Armed with this amazing breakfast knowledge, you can turn the morning after from a time of regret to one of recovery, well a little bit at least.

Who knows, maybe next time the scent of ginger tea and scrambled eggs will waft through your morning, rather than the lonely echo of a single green uninspiring apple sat on a bedside table courtesy of your Boo.