F@&k off: Are you offended by swear words?

We all swear, well apart from my recently passed away mum.

I could tell my mum anything, even weekend benders and all the shenanigans that I got up to which would have put the most errant rock stars to shame, but colour the conversation with a swear word, even the word ‘bloody’ and I’d get a slap around the head. Don’t figure.

But most of us do swear.

Analyses of recorded conversations reveal that an average of roughly 80–90 words that a person speaks each day—0.5% to 0.7% of all words—are curse words, with usage varying from 0% to 3.4%.

But I use swear words as an intensifier which serves to enhance and give additional emotional context to the word or word’s it’s meant to modify, unless of course I want to be impolite, rude or indecent, normally that’s when someones being a right ‘c*@nt’.

Swearing performs certain psychological functions, and uses particular linguistic and neurological mechanisms. New York Times author Natalie Angier notes that functionally similar behaviour can be observed in chimpanzees, and this may contribute to our understanding.

Keele University researchers Stephens, Atkins, and Kingston found that swearing relieves the effects of physical pain. Stephens said "I would advise people, if they hurt themselves, to swear".

However, the overuse of swear words tends to diminish this effect.

The Keele team won the Ig Nobel Peace Prize in 2010 for their research.

According to Steven Pinker, there are five possible functions of swearing:

1. Abusive swearing, intended to offend, intimidate or otherwise cause emotional or psychological harm

2. Cathartic swearing, used in response to pain or misfortune

3. Dysphemistic swearing, used to convey that the speaker thinks negatively of the subject matter and to make the listener do the same

4. Emphatic swearing, intended to draw additional attention to what is considered to be worth paying attention to

5. Idiomatic swearing, used for no other particular purpose, but as a sign that the conversation and relationship between speaker and listener is informal

Swearing, in and of itself, is not usually a criminal offence in the United Kingdom although in context may constitute a component of a crime.

However, it may be a criminal offence in a public space which is under a public spaces protection order which outlaws the use of "foul and abusive language" without specifying any further component to the offence, a similar common law offence of breach of the peace covers issues causing public alarm and distress.

Ofcom have actually produced a PDF guide on the acceptability of words and gestures, basically ranking swear words and gestures in order of offensiveness.

Below are some examples:

1. Arse - Mild language, generally of little concern.

2. Bollocks - Medium language, potentially unacceptable pre-watershed. Not generally offensive but somewhat vulgar when used to refer to testicles. Less problematic when used to mean ‘nonsense’.

3. Twat - Strong language, generally unacceptable pre-watershed. Seen as vulgar and distasteful when used to refer to the vagina. Less problematic if describing a rude or obnoxious person, but still potentially offensive.

You get the drift, having reviewed the list there’s a few in there I’ve never heard of such as ‘Bloodclaat’.

I mean what the fuck does that mean?

A claim has been made that swearing is bonding in that a few blue words, uttered in a good-natured way, indicates and encourages intimacy.

Another study suggests that people who swear are perceived as more trustworthy than those who are less potty-mouthed.

So in summary, I suppose it is and always has been about context, usage and respect, and of course individual preference.

At the end of the day we’re all related to chimpanzees so maybe it’s also biological and evolutionary, but who the hell can be arsed to get into that?