From Stable to Stage: The Birth of Equine Rock

Remember when we brought you "MUSIC GENRES GONE WILD: 1,072 WAYS MUSICIANS HAVE LOST THE F*CKING PLOT"? Well, saddle up, because we've discovered genre number 1,073, and this time it's not horsing around. Actually, scratch that - it's exactly what it's doing.

Enter Cannon Bone, a Nottingham-based duo named after the very piece of equine anatomy that keeps our four-legged friends standing tall. Just when we thought we'd catalogued every bizarre musical sub-genre known to humanity - from Dungeon Synth (medieval-themed ambient music for your next D&D session) to Mathcore (metal that requires a PhD in quantum physics to follow) - these lads come trotting along with something called "Equine Rock."

I first caught wind of this stallion of a genre when an email from Daniel Murray landed in my inbox, announcing their new album "Ten" - named, brilliantly, after an AI-generated drawing of a horse with ten legs. Because why the hell not? My initial reaction? "What the actual fuck is Equine Rock?" After a frantic check of our extensive genre database (and yes, we missed this one), I dove headfirst into their Spotify catalogue, expecting either a brilliant piss-take or a musical car crash. What I found was neither - and somehow both.

The band's origin story is as uniquely Nottinghamshire as they come. It all kicked off a decade ago with "True Story of a Horse," which Daniel describes as "the starting point of all this Equine Rock shenanigans." Since then, they've been "putting out horse-based thoroughbred albums with great regularity," each one adding another chapter to their equine odyssey.

Take "Pink Window," for instance. Inspired by a chance encounter with a horse peering out of a pothole while being transported through the Nottinghamshire countryside, it captures that magical moment of wondering: was this noble beast heading to a show? A race? The vets? As Daniel muses, "I like to think that the horses make up stories of all the little two-legged people who amuse them so greatly and fuss about providing hay n stuff." It's this kind of whimsical perspective that sets Cannon Bone apart from your average indie rock outfit.

Their discography reads like a horse enthusiast's fever dream: "Sociable Horse," "Little Donkey," "Horse Cafe," "Two Round Eyes Looking At Me," "Giddy Up," "Bridle Song," "Sea Horse," "Mares or Stallions," and the philosophically intriguing "Inside a Hoof." But here's the kicker - it's actually good.

Even lockdown couldn't bridle their creativity. "Rib Eye," recorded separately during the pandemic, tells the touching story of "two young foals who are not able to spend time together, only look through blinkers in a distorted distanced way." If that's not turning contemporary experience into equine metaphor, I don't know what is.

The duo, comprising Daniel Murray (bass) and Rich Park (drums), have crafted a sound that's essentially indie alt-rock with folky undertones, occasionally galloping into psychedelic instrumental prog rock territory. Veterans of the local scene, they've graced stages at The Chameleon, The Angel, and Farnstock Festival (RIP), building a devoted following in both the music and equestrian communities.

While Daniel notes that "it has not been officially tested that our music does increase the speed or agility of horses prior to competition," he thinks "it's a good bet that it does." And speaking of bets - let's talk about that market potential. According to the Equine Business Association, we're looking at a global industry worth a staggering $300 billion, with 374,000 horse-owning households in Britain alone. That's a lot of potential listeners who might appreciate a soundtrack for their stable.

Cannon Bone

"Equine rock? Why the fuck not?" says a local musician and rider I spoke to. "My horse definitely loves music, and I'm into alt rock and prog rock, so I'm gonna check them out." And she's not alone - the equine industry is surprisingly massive. In the UK alone, it contributes £8bn annually to the economy, making it the second-largest rural employer after agriculture.

The music itself? It's a masterclass in defying expectations. While I was listening (and yes, thoroughly enjoying) tracks like "Mares or Stallions," I couldn't help but flash back to my days as Head Rider at Dover Saddle club. The lyrics speak directly to the equestrian community, but the music? That speaks to anyone with functioning ears and a taste for well-crafted indie rock.

What makes Cannon Bone particularly interesting is their commitment to the bit (pun absolutely intended). This isn't a one-off concept album or a novelty project - we're talking five full albums and three EPs of horse-themed rock, although to be fair its not all equestrian themed!. The production quality ranges from polished studio recordings to raw, live captures that sound like they were recorded in a festival tent (because some of them were).

The global reach of the equine industry is staggering: $102 billion in the USA, $133 billion in Europe, with rapidly growing markets in places like China, where horse clubs have increased by 1500% since 2010. That's a lot of potential fans for our equine rockers.

So here we are, in 2024, adding yet another genre to our ever-expanding musical lexicon. But unlike some of the more questionable entries on our list, Equine Rock actually makes a weird kind of sense. In a world where seven million Americans are directly involved in the equine industry (with over a third earning $75k+ annually), why shouldn't there be a soundtrack specifically for the stable?

Cannon Bone has managed to create something unique - music that serves a specific community while being genuinely enjoyable for anyone who appreciates solid indie rock. It's not just horses for courses; it's courses for horses, and anyone else who wants to come along for the ride. As Dan says “We love making and playing music”.

Give them a listen. Even if you don't know your fetlock from your forelock, you might find yourself nodding along, tapping your feet, and wondering why nobody thought of this sooner. After all, in a world with Bardcore and Mathcore, why the hell not Equine Rock? One of my personal favourites is My Honey a toe/hoof tapper of a song as Dan rightly puts it.

And to Cannon Bone - congrats on winning that bottle of wine for introducing us to a genre we somehow missed. May your hay always be fresh, and your riffs always gallop.