You Silly Sausage

‘What the f@7k is that?’

I thought as I diligently worked on my laptop. My partner and son had just got in and there was this ridiculous racket coming from the living room.

“Poke Me!” it screamed

“Stretch Me!” it yelled

“Shake Me!” it balled

“Twist Me” it squealed

“Dip Me” it shouted

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”

‘Seriously, what the f@&k is that?’

I poked my head into the room, my son is manically jumping around with a massive grin on his face, so has my partner.

“Watch this” she said.

She poked the toy sausage.

The music started, it’s weirdly addictive and gets your hips moving. It spoke.

“The highest score is 57, poke me to start”.

She did.

What happened next was 20 minutes of ridiculousness, the objective is to keep poking and shaking and dipping and twisting and stretching faster and faster until you f@&k up, Silly Sausage then laughs in your face and gives you your score.

“Beat that!” She said. I will I thought.

My son didn’t get a look in although he was just as amused by watching two adult loons play around with a toy dildo.

Eventually you stop, but only after you’ve beaten the other persons score.

I turned to my partner.

“You know what we’re playing at our next dinner party don’t you!”

“You silly sausage” she said.