How to keep red wine teeth at bay

In 2020, an estimated 9.3 million people consumed white wine, slightly more than red wine which has 8.9 million consumers in the UK alone, needles to say all wine is a popular drink which we Brits love to drink with dinner, at parties and on special occasions, but sometimes, and usually when your trying to impress your latest boo you get hit with the scourge of red wine teeth; “why the fuck?” do you ask.

Red wine teeth happens because red wine contains acids, tannin, and natural dyes, all of which can leave the teeth etched and stained. But don’t fret, there’s a few things you can do to care for your teeth and prevent stains from occurring.

Brush Teeth Before Drinking - Food particles that cling to teeth can be absorbent. When you drink red wine, these food particles can take on the color of the wine, making your teeth look like they’ve turned purple. Brushing your teeth before drinking red wine can help prevent this problem. Take care to brush the hard to reach areas in the lowest teeth. Flossing can also help by removing food particles stuck between the teeth.

If you drink red wine while at restaurants or while out with friends, keep a toothbrush in your handbag, purse, or glove compartment. This will help ensure that you have a toothbrush when you need it, when that embarrassing event happens and your mate or date point out you’ve got red wine teeth sneak off to the WC and give those nashers a quick brush.

Use a Straw - Drinking red wine from a straw helps the wine bypass the teeth and go straight for the tongue, but the downside is you’ll look like a twat, so weigh up your options first.

Eat Raw Vegetables Whilst Drinking - Crunchy vegetables help clean the teeth while you chew. Eating carrots while drinking red wine can help keep the teeth clean and stain-free, again there’s another obvious downside which is people might mistake you for a rabbit, especially if you’ve got big ears.

Eat Cheese - Cheese and wine are fantastic together and cheese naturally protects your teeth from stains, so scoff cheese whilst drinking, people will think you’re a wine and cheese connoisseur but they wont really know your craftily brushing your molars whilst sloshing down the grog.

Chew Gum - If you don’t have a toothbrush in your back pocket chew gum before, during and after.

Drink Water With Your Wine - Water also helps prevent your sparklies from becoming stained, it also helps reduce your massive hangover in the morning as you’re re-hydrating as you’re smashing back the rouge. Drink some water in-between your wine scoffing.

Use Wipes - Don’t have any? Use your sleeve or nip to the loo and give them a wipe down with some tissue, but just make sure you’ve pulled all the tissue out of your teeth and gob before you go back to the table or join your buddies otherwise it kind of defeats the purpose.

Or you can do nothing and be economical by licking your teeth periodically to ensure you get that delicious wine off your teeth whilst getting the bang for your buck, again you may look weird but hey you spent £8.50 on that glass of wine so fuck it.