We love Sneinton Market , great stalls and great food.

We heard there may have been some grumblings within the Sneinton market group, especially as we haven’t seen the market for a while, a dispute between vegan and meat food stalls, we’ve imagined how that dispute may have gone below.

The Sneinton Market, once a bustling hub of fresh produce and artisan delights, has found itself embroiled in a culinary conflict for the ages – The Vegan Revolution vs. The Meat Empire!

This once peaceful haven has transformed into a battleground, where fruits and veggies clash with sausages and steaks in the fight for market dominance.

As tensions escalate, an innocent bystander reports, "It's like watching a kale salad fight a beef burger – green and leafy vs. juicy and meaty."

The Vegan Revolution, fronted by a coalition of proud plant-based stall owners, has voiced its discontent about sharing market days with their mortal enemies, the Meat Empire.

In an exclusive interview, a representative of the Vegan Revolution, the stalwart Leafy Greens, had this to say:

"We've had enough! Our customers can't enjoy their tofu scramble in peace without being assaulted by the scent of bacon frying nearby. It's like trying to meditate in a butcher's shop!"

But the Meat Empire refuses to back down. Their leader, the fierce Sir Loin of Beef, retorts,

"We've been at this market since the days of yore – the days of actual yore! They can't just come here with their quinoa and almond milk and expect us to roll over like a well-cooked roast."

The Sneinton Market Civil War has taken a toll on both sides. In a recent skirmish, the Meat Empire's prized giant sausage was allegedly sabotaged, resulting in an explosion of bratwurst that left one market-goer, who wished to remain anonymous, exclaiming, "It was raining sausages! I'll be picking bits of casing out of my hair for weeks!"

Retaliation from the Vegan Revolution was swift, with several of their members allegedly staging a late-night heist, making off with the Meat Empire's precious BBQ sauce reserves. In a public statement, Sir Loin of Beef lamented, "It was a saucy heist indeed! They left us with nothing but a sad bottle of mustard. Mustard!"

The market's management has tried to broker peace by organising alternating weeks for the factions, but both sides remain steadfast.

In a surprising turn of events, the Hummus Brigade, a neutral party in this bitter battle, has emerged as a mediator.

"Frankly, we're tired of the fighting," says Chick P., the charismatic leader of the Hummus Brigade. "We're all here to make a living and feed people, whether they prefer seitan or sirloin. Besides, who can resist a little hummus on their falafel or as a dip for their chicken kebab?"

As the Sneinton Market Civil War rages on, one thing is clear: the appetite for a peaceful resolution has never been greater.

In the meantime, market-goers have been advised to come armed with a sense of humour and an empty stomach, ready to navigate the delicious chaos that ensues.

Just a story peeps, like ‘Jackanory’, but we really do miss it…..