When Bay Too Much Bay Leaf Fucks Up Your Curry

I love cooking curry—the hotter, the better. There’s something incredibly satisfying about pulling out all my herbs and spices, opening up a bottle of Pinot Noir, and just going to town in the kitchen. It’s almost like an alchemical process, turning simple ingredients into something magical. And like any self-respecting home cook, I have a routine: I toss in a bay leaf or two for that extra depth of flavour. But this time, I decided to go big or go home. I didn’t just use a couple of bay leaves; I also added a dash of bay leaf oil. Why not, right? More flavour equals better curry, or so I thought.

One of my favourite things about cooking is testing the dish as it simmers away, all while slogging down a glass of vino like my food hero, Keith Floyd. Lately, I've been doing this to the sound of Office Goth, a band that I’ve been obsessed with lately (and trust me, you should be too). Their moody yet melodic tunes somehow make the whole cooking experience even more immersive. Anyway, I digress. Back to the curry.

So, there I am, happily tasting my concoction, but something’s off. I taste it again, and it’s worse than before. All I can taste is bay leaf. Like, overpowering, “bay leaf slapped you in the face and stole your lunch money” kind of bay leaf.

What the actual fuck? How did this happen? I’ve got a beautiful shin of beef in there, all my usual spices, but now I’m scared it’s wrecked. I mean, who knew that something as seemingly harmless as a bay leaf could turn into such a villain?

Now, I’m not one to give up easily, so I did a bit of research. Apparently, it is possible to salvage a dish that’s been overtaken by the bay leaf monster. The trick, it seems, is to add garlic and brown sugar to counteract the bitterness. So, here I am, giving that a go, fingers crossed that it’ll work. But this whole debacle got me thinking—why is bay leaf such a great ingredient, and what are the pitfalls that can trip you up if you’re not careful?

The Enigmatic Bay Leaf: Friend or Foe?

Bay leaves are a bit of a culinary enigma. They don’t hit you with an immediate punch of flavour like garlic or chilli. Instead, they’re subtle, adding a depth and complexity that’s hard to pinpoint but noticeably missing if left out. When used correctly, they can elevate a dish, bringing out the best in the other ingredients. But, like any powerful tool, they need to be handled with care.

The problem with bay leaves, especially when you go overboard like I did, is that their flavour can quickly go from subtle to overwhelming. What’s supposed to be a supporting actor suddenly takes over the entire production, turning your well-balanced dish into a one-note disaster. Bay leaves contain eugenol, an essential oil with a potent flavour that, in small doses, is a delight. But too much of it, and you might as well be chewing on a tree.

Bay Leaf Dos and Don’ts

Do:

• Use bay leaves sparingly. One or two leaves for a pot of curry is usually enough. Remember, they’re there to enhance, not dominate.

• Add them early in the cooking process. Bay leaves need time to release their flavour, so they’re best added at the beginning and removed before serving.

Don’t:

• Use bay leaf oil unless you’re absolutely sure of what you’re doing. It’s highly concentrated and can easily overpower your dish, as I unfortunately learned.

• Forget to remove the leaves before serving. While bay leaves add flavour, they’re not pleasant to eat and can be a choking hazard.

How to Fix an Over-Bayed Curry

If you find yourself in the same predicament I was in, don’t panic. All is not lost. Here are a few strategies to bring your curry back from the brink:

1. Add Garlic and Brown Sugar:
As I mentioned earlier, garlic and brown sugar can help counteract the bitterness of too much bay leaf. Garlic adds a robust, savoury note, while brown sugar brings a bit of sweetness to balance the flavours.

2. Dilute:
If your curry is way too intense, try adding more liquid (water, stock, coconut milk or more tomatoes, like paste or tinned) to dilute the flavour. You might also need to adjust the seasoning to keep the balance.

3. Introduce Acid:
A splash of lemon juice or vinegar can help cut through the overwhelming bay flavour, adding a fresh, bright note that lifts the dish.

4. Cook a New Batch:
If all else fails, you can always cook up a fresh batch of curry without any bay leaf, then mix it with the over-bayed one. This will dilute the flavor without losing all the hard work you’ve already put in.

Why You Should Listen to Office Goth While Cooking

Now, let’s take a quick detour back to Office Goth. You might be wondering, “Why on earth is this person banging on about a band in the middle of a curry crisis?” But hear me out. There’s something about their dark, atmospheric sound that’s perfect for cooking. It’s like the musical equivalent of adding depth to a dish. The intricate layers of sound complement the process of building flavours in a curry—each instrument and note adding something unique, just like each spice does in the pot.

And honestly, if your curry goes sideways, at least you’ll have some killer tunes to console you. Plus, cooking is all about the experience, right? The sights, the smells, the sounds. Office Goth just happens to be the perfect soundtrack to a night of culinary creativity (or catastrophe, as it were).

So, next time you’re in the kitchen, trying to conjure up the perfect curry, keep in mind that while bay leaves are your friend, they can quickly turn on you if you’re not careful. And if you do mess up, don’t sweat it. With a little ingenuity—and perhaps a little garlic and brown sugar—you can save your dish from disaster. And hey, whether your curry turns out great or not, at least you’ll have some good music to enjoy while you figure it all out. If you haven’t checked out Office Goth yet, do yourself a favour and give them a listen. Just maybe keep an eye on the bay leaves next time.

Here's the link to the Office Goth review: Office Goth on Notts Rocks.

This deserves a hashtag: #SaveYourCurry